Demon Squirrels

I have heard a story about ancient Rome.

The senators decided that it might be a good idea to have everyone under Roman rule dress according to class and station. That way, the senators and upper class would be distinguished from the merchants or the slaves or the religious sects or whomever. After much discussion, the senate decided against this law demanding a 'uniform' rule. They were afraid the slaves would look around and realize--hey there are significantly more of us than there are them--and revolt.


I believe if the squirrels in my neighborhood ever realize how many of them there are, we humans are in serious trouble.

One weekend, after I planted 90+ tulips and daffodils in my yard, I noticed the little buggers digging them up. I chased them away several times, but there's only so much of that you can do. I followed a neighbor's advice and sprinkled cayenne pepper over the bulbs. Maybe I'll turn them into cajuns. After the massive blisters I had on my hands from planting day, I was mad enough to consider staking out the door with a pellet gun.

The 39 trick-or-treaters that came to my door closely looked at my pumpkin, probably wondering what the heck it was. You see, in the course of a week, the squrriels ate its face off.

It makes me wonder how crazy they will be this winter when there's nothing to eat. There could be the beginnings of a cheesy horror movie here somewhere.