The Great Race

I don't have any pictures of Jack in the grocery store because we don't sit still in the store long enough to get one. We move with a mission, not unlike the contestants on those old shopping spree shows on Nickelodeon.

This is because now that Jack is on the move, a store isn't a fun or safe place to be.

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for a dress and made the very seldom-done shopping stop for a few minutes. Jack wandered the aisles contentedly for a few minutes. Then, he started walking toward the door saying "All done! All done!" When I didn't comply, he came up to me and yelled "All done!" with his eyebrows raised along with the accompanying sign, since apparently mama didn't get it.

Last week at the grocery store, I snagged one of those great shopping carts with a car in front of it. Even though you practically have to have a CDL to drive it, those are generally good for 10 or so minutes. We made it though produce, meat, and to the canned goods before Jack yelled "all done" and proceeded to get out of the buckled safety belt. So, I moved him to the top of the cart and started feeding him Cheerios. That lasted through the middle aisles and paper products to the dairy section. "All done!" Then, he tried to stand up in the cart. So, I took him out and let him wander around me while I quickly made it through the cheese and frozen foods...past the balls, which are an object of fascination right now and require pointing and identification..."ball. ball."

Then, the checkout line. On double coupon days, the grocery store is chaotic and the long lines make you think the checkers are giving something away instead of taking your money. By the time Jack and I got closer to the front of the line, I coulda stuck a fork in him because Jack was truly "all done." The Woman of Disdain ahead of us in line kept frowning at us. Jack was thrashing and screaming. Jack was pulling magazines out of the rack. As I tried to put him in the buggy again, I accidentally bumped the Woman of Disdain again with my extra long kiddie cart. Jack was hitting me and yelling "all done." I put Jack in the big part of the cart with the groceries and hoped he didn't throw out the eggs like he was trying to do everything else. It was not fun.

By the time the cashier went through my coupons, she quickly gave me credit for everything--even those pesky coupons that require a beep and a double check, "do you have this item?" Yes, lady. "All done! Waaaah!" Sure thing. "All done!" Despite the fact people were backed all the way into aisles, checkers and even a few shoppers gathered round to help me bag groceries in an effort to get this kid outta here. "All done!"

I have plenty of excuses for my 15-month-old. It was an hour before bedtime. We grocery-shopped right after daycare, through his regular dinnertime and all he got was Cheerios. Shortly after we get home, he's happy, fed, and giving me the sleep sign while sitting at the bottom of the stairs, holding his worn dog pillow pet, and pointing upwards to his bed.

In the future, I'm going to try being at the store when doors open at 6am to grab groceries, when Jack is asleep at home with his father. Other than after work, I really don't have another time to go and I'm not sure the great race is worth it. Maybe we'll just do take-out from now on.